Life

Why don't you stay
I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
You can't give me what I need
When she begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay, yeah

If you met me last week, you probably been hearing loads of vulgarities coming out of my mouth. I.JUST.CLDN'T.CONTROL.MYSELF.

Why why why?

I've been treated like dirt recently. But I am glad I have Winnie and JC by my side/phone. I seriously envy Winnie cause she met an (bhb) angel and what do I have? All these shiteload who treat you like an angel by the day and dirt by the night. It's too unpredictable, and I hate it.

Face it, yw. It's okay to be down once awhile but this time, it's taking too long. Actually, it's been a week only but why should I treat MYSELF this way?

Let it go, ignore them. Time will pass and you'll know who is truly good to you. Not some arse that is doing it w a motive.

Stop thinking about it.
Stop thinking about it.
Stop thinking about it.
Stop thinking about it.

If only it was this easy..

//edited

I'm gonna plan a shopping date w Winnie. To cheer ourselves on to fight this survive game, celebrate our friendship and buy that whole chunk in our newly created shopping list.

It's really nice to have a girlf to share your thoughts w, one who can listen to you, go to our favourite store and shop w/o thinking and not to forget, laugh at the most ridiculous jokes tgt. Man, so many time I wanna cheer her up when she's down but that stupid bhb angel is always one step faster than me. Hahahahahaa.

Okay, I can't believe I managed to write so much crap despite being sick. Yes, I am falling ill. Are you guys celebrating? Haa! It's the deep cranky headache and nausea combo recently. Why why why? I've been drinking water diligently, had my meals and ...

OH, DID I TELL YOU?
*ps: I really wanna keep this post short but I really have to write this.

I think I am possessed. D:

Starting on a weird night last week (I forgot which day), every time I go to the kitchen, I cldn't control myself. It's like suddenly there is the urge to keep eating.

It's freaking me out cause:
1) I ate anything I cld lay my hands on (some which I don't even like eating)
2) I won't leave until I empty the whole basket/bowl/plate/box of food
3) I am/was not hungry
4) I CANNOT CONTROL MYSELF

It's not like I've been starving myself so I am reacting this way but (read the above four points again) it happens every single night since then. (Read: IT.IS.THAT.SCARY.)

Even my crunches & push up isn't gonna save me if it continues to repeat every single night. Really, I am thinking.. Am I possessed? Or should I go see a doctor? Maybe there is a miracle pill that can stop those random urges huh? Tell me, tell me! Maybe it can help me lose some weight too right? Haha!

Meanwhile, I shall avoid going to the kitchen unless necessary and watch my weight gain. I'll update you all again if running away from it works. Haha.


Bye, it's so much better ending on a lighter note huh!